Exploring positive parenting approaches at different stages of children's development.

Learning goals

  • Build the confidence and ability to parent positively.
  • Use a fair and firm approach to parenting.
  • Understand the difference between discipline and punishment.

Explore ngā tohu whānau stages

‘Ngā tohu whānau’ are based on the Tākai ‘6 principles’.

You’ll find ‘Ngā tohu whānau’ in all the Whakatipu booklets, and how they’re relevant to each stage of a child’s development.

Choose a ‘Ngā tohu whānau’ section. Have your group consider the tohu at this stage, along with what’s covered in ‘Pēpi says’, ‘Whānau say’ and ‘Ngā mahi a pēpi’ (in the same section).

Here’s an example from Te Pihinga 1 for 3 to 4 months:

  • Pēpi says: ‘I can tell the differences between familiar faces’ (page 16).
  • Whānau say: ‘We love playing with pēpi. This helps her learn to trust us more’ (page 17).
  • Ngā mahi a pēpi: ‘Games – hold pēpi in front of the mirror so she can see you and herself and play “talk and touch”’ (page 22).
  • Ngā tohu whānau: ‘Consistency and consequences’ – Helping pēpi build trusting relationships with a few key people (page 22).

Can you see the connections? Depending on the size of your group, you could have participants work in small groups on different ages and stages.

Explore what other links participants find. Ask them to think about things they do with their pēpi that show:

  • love and warmth
  • talking and listening
  • guidance and understanding
  • limits and boundaries
  • consistency and consequences
  • a structured and secure world.


Tākai resources

Whakatipu booklets(external link)

Out whānau tikanga – six principles poster [PDF, 7 MB]

Order free printed resouces(external link)

Related articles

Six principles of effective discipline 

Six things babies need