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Tiaki – Managing behaviour

As children grow, they go through phases of development that cause them and their parents stress. These times can be challenging for everyone. Understanding their uniqueness, rather than comparing them with other children, is most important in guiding their behaviour.

Taumauri – Mana tangata

The underlying philosophy of this wānanga wānanga To meet and discuss Maori | Verb is based on the Āhuru Mōwai Āhuru Mōwai Calm place, sheltered haven Maori | Noun principle ‘ mana tangata mana tangata Power and status accrued through one's leadership talents, human rights, mana of people Maori | Noun ’. This means encouraging whānau to create an environment where their children are continuously affirmed for who they are, their unique personalities, talents and characteristics.

Manaaki and tohutohu

Use the terms manaaki manaaki Support, hospitality, caring for Maori | Noun (caring) and tohutohu tohutohu Guide Maori | Verb (guidance), and embrace and uphold them in this wānanga.

Whakatuwhera whakatuwhera To open Maori | Verb , whakatau whakatau To decide, settle, prepare, determine, arbitrate, adjudicate Maori | Verb , mihimihi

Welcome whānau as they arrive, and offer them a cup of tea and refreshments. Provide a parent-and-child–friendly venue, so whānau and tamariki feel comfortable.

Open with a karakia and a waiata – your own, or one of the ones provided.

Give an overview of the session. Emphasise that this hui will centre on the importance of:

• issues linked to normal development
• curiosity
• positive discipline
• patience
• routine
• boundaries.

Give a short presentation about managing emotions, frustration and discipline.

• Emphasise that children need to learn about their behaviour before they can control it.
• The natural curiosity of children, regardless of their age, stems from their brain development and its ‘windows of opportunity’ for optimum learning. This is driving their need to explore and experiment with all of their senses.

Ask whānau to share what they’ve noticed about their pēpi that reflects pēpi’s own sense of becoming a separate person from their parents.

You could ask the whānau: Does pēpi also do things and have expressions that remind you of someone in your whānau?

Refer to the Tākai Ngā Tohu Whānau poster.

• Ask whānau to discuss how they manage behaviour that upsets them, and what strategies they can share with each other.
• Ask whānau to reflect on their own support networks – even the best parents can do with a helping hand. Does the whānau have help from other whānau members, support services or anyone else?

Tell pūrākau pūrākau Myth, ancient legend, story Maori | Noun that have supportive messages, for example:

• Tūmatauenga – responsibility, courage
• Tāwhiri-mātea – conflict, change
• Tangaroa Tangaroa Atua (god) of the sea and fish Maori | Personal name – healing, water, fluid
• Tāne-mahuta – leadership, thinker, leader, strategist
• Rongo-mā-Tāne – peace, skills
• Haumia-tiketike – protector, wild food, digestive
• Rūaumoko Rūaumoko atua (god) of earthquakes Maori | Personal name – youngest, demanding

Encourage whānau to tell stories, and to encourage their children to listen. Pēpi is starting to understand that like the characters in the stories, they too have their own mana mana Prestige, power, influence, status, spiritual power. Maori | Noun .

Remind whānau to continue using ‘Ngā tohutohu i te reo Māori’ when instructing pēpi – for example, ‘kia tūpato’, ‘ āe āe Yes Maori | Verb ’, ‘kāore’ and ‘ taihoa taihoa Wait, don't ... yet. Maori | Interjection ’.

Explain the following whakataukī whakataukī Proverb Maori | Noun , and encourage whānau to have a 2-minute discussion about its meaning.

Help whānau prepare a problem-solving strategy for managing pēpi’s behaviour when things get stressful. Use these Tākai resources:

• Ngā tohu whānau poster
• Staying calm with kids booklet
• The tricky bits

As pēpi grows, suggest that whānau make a commitment to review their behaviour management strategies every 3 weeks or less.

Bring everyone together for closing, and offer an opportunity for whānau to share their experiences of the day. Reflect on the kaupapa of this hui ‘Tōku mana motuhake’. Close with a karakia and a waiata – your own, or one of the ones provided.