Getting expectant dads to think about being a parent will be best for everyone when pēpi arrives.
We have three booklets designed for dads who are expecting a new baby. Introducing whānau to these booklets is a good way to help dad get used to the idea of becoming a father.
How dads might be feeling
One of the dads interviewed for the booklets was musician Tiki Taane. He said, ‘At first I was like …“Oh no!”… it was all panic stations. But then I started to think, “Okay, this is cool. I need to be in my son’s life.”’
This is a common response to the news that you’re going to be a parent. Expectant dads may feel worry, excitement and fear about how they’ll cope with the life changes a baby brings.
Questions to ask
The following questions can help to get the thoughts out of dads' heads and onto the table:
- What are you looking forward to about becoming a dad?
- What’s the most important thing about becoming a dad?
- Who are the role models that you respect or will rely on for guidance?
- What is it about them that you value?
- What’s been your experience with babies so far?
- What have you learned so far about the prenatal development of your baby?
- What do you think you’re going to find hard about having a new baby?
- How do you think you’ll learn about what a new baby needs and wants?
This conversation can really help both parents. Couples have shared that their relationship is more satisfying when the dad is involved with their baby.
Talking about things before pēpi arrives can give parents time to think things through. Ask these questions:
- Think back to how you were raised — will you do things the same or differently?
- How can you support each other?
Helpful resources for whānau
What changes when you become a dad?<What changes when you become a dad?
Tiki Taane and Warren Maxwell talk about how their lives changed, and how their lives didn't change once they brought baby home and became fathers to their kids.
Listen to Fa‘ali‘i talk about being a dad<Listen to Fa‘ali‘i talk about being a dad
Fa'ali'i talks about becoming a dad and how things have changed for him.