I can do it myself using Tākai resources

Tākai resources you can use with whānau to explore and support their child's developing autonomy.

Pēpi is developing autonomy and a ‘mind of their own’. They may be determined to do certain things and start expressing their likes and dislikes, sometimes quite strongly.

In 'Ngā tohu whānau' on page 14 of Te Pihinga 3, the ‘Love and warmth’ section tells us that ‘pēpi will want to make some decisions now. Let pēpi practise choosing between two things.'

Some other helpful places in Te Pihinga 3 to explore with whānau are:

  • Page 6 – ‘Pēpi says: I like to try and feed myself too. Look at me!'
  • Page 8 – ‘Whānau say: We have started to give pēpi finger foods. Pēpi loves the chance to eat without our help.'
  • Page 12 – ‘Ngā taonga tākaro: Let pēpi take the lead when you read pukapuka together. Pēpi may... choose a book themselves and give it to you to read.'
  • Page 24 – ‘Whānau say: We see pēpi use trial and error to solve simple problems. If something doesn’t work, pēpi tries another way. They can be really determined some days.

Other Tākai resources

In the booklet The World of Under-fives on page 4 is ‘Ten basics for a fair and firm approach’. Number 9 suggests, ‘Ask them what they think and give them simple choices.’

Page 6 reminds us to ‘Balance independence with limits’ and ‘Give limited choices’.

The booklet The Tricky Bits has a similar message on page 7, with tips for surviving the supermarket, ‘Involve them by giving them choices.’

Conversation ideas

How do these ideas match your child’s behaviour at the moment?
What changes have you noticed?
Why do you think that’s happening?
How has this affected you and your whānau?
In what ways have you noticed your child becoming more independent?
Do they want to make their own decisions?
What happens when they disagree with what you want them to do?
Shall we come up with some strategies for tricky situations together?
What times with your child have been exciting, fun or made you celebrate?
Have you had challenges with your child?
What would you like to talk about?
What more would you like to find out about?

Helpful resources for whānau