[Music]
[Text on screen: Getting to know your baby]
[Text on screen: Sleep | Chat with Dr. Jane]
Waking up with a newborn is hard. Knowing more about how babies sleep and what to expect during those first two months will help you feel more relaxed and confident.
Mother:
Why won’t my baby sleep through the night?
Voiceover:
You know that’s really tough, and I know that especially the first few weeks, and I know some of you have even had younger babies than Aubrey, that it is really hard to wake up so much. But actually, babies have a reason why they have to wake up. They have very small stomachs when they’re born. They’re born very small. And, in fact, can you imagine how big a baby you’d have to give birth to, if you really have a baby that could sleep for a long period of time without being fed? I don’t think any of us would want to do that.
So babies have to frequently wake up at night to stay healthy. They have to be able to be fed, they have to be able to be changed, sometimes they need extra care at the night. And that’s why they don’t sleep at the night.
Mother 1:
When will she sleep through the night?
Dr. Jane:
You know that’s the most common question we get. Everybody wants to know when is the baby gonna sleep with the night. Well, babies actually sleep very differently from adults. The way it works out is that you and I, we sleep in light sleep and deep sleep sometimes. And so do the babies. But babies, especially the very young ones, when they first fall asleep as a newborn, they start dreaming. And dreaming is very important to babies because it is part of the way their brains develop. But the problem with that is while they’re dreaming, they actually are easy to wake up. And it’s good because we talked a minute ago about how they have to wake up to be fed. So it’s important that babies wake up to be fed and are in a light state of sleep.
As they get older, they have that dreaming period last a little bit less time. And so they fall into that deeper sleep for longer periods of time. And if they get bigger, they’re also able to stretch out that sleep.
So there really isn’t one answer to your question: “when will babies sleep through the night?” But what happens is babies change, they all change kinda the same way. First they wake up very easily and they sleep for very short periods of time. And then later on, they get bigger, they can go longer stretches, and they sleep more in that deep sleep, which makes it less likely that they wake up.
Mother 2:
He’s only 6 days old. How can I get a little more sleep?
Dr. Jane:
Yeah, you’re really in the thick of it. It’s the toughest part when those first six weeks because the babies wake up so often and you can’t really predict when they’re gonna be asleep and when they’re gonna be awake. So it’s definitely tough.
So the first idea we’d share with you is to get some help. Make sure you have somebody at home who can help you with the chores and other things, while you get as much rest as you can.
But researchers recently come out to suggest three things that you can do to get some little more sleep during those first six weeks. And it’s not a lot of more sleep; just a little.
First, have the baby really close by, so if the baby wakes up at night, you don’t have very far to go to help your baby.
Second is to keep the lights pretty low. Maybe keep just a night light on, unless there’s a reason why you really need to have bright lights, like you’re gonna give your baby medication or something you don’t want low lights.
And third, to try a little white noise. Because static or something that just makes the same noise softly in your room because what happens is that newborns tend to make a lot of noise when they’re sleeping. They kinda move around and gurgle and things. So if you have a low noise to help you rest a little bit until your baby makes a little bit more noise and really is waking up and needs you to wake up too.
Voiceover:
It is easy to tell the difference between light sleep and deep sleep. During light sleep, babies dream. While he dreams, his eyes, face, and body may twitch or move. And he might even smile and make little noises.
His eyes may open and close even though your baby is still sleeping. During light sleep, blood flow to the brain is increased and the brain is active. This is important for brain development. Dreaming babies are easy to wake up. But remember, the ability to wake up easily is important for your baby’s health and safety.
If your baby wakes up while you’re trying to lay her down, you may wanna watch for signs she’s falling into deep sleep before you lay her down. During deep sleep, your baby will not move very much. And her arms and legs will be very relaxed. She’ll be harder to wake up.
Deep sleep is important for babies growth and complete rest, Babies need to go through periods of both deep and light sleep. Adults do, too.
Newborns sleep only about two hours at a time. Fortunately, around six to eight weeks of age, your baby's sleep will change. He will dream for shorter periods of time and sleep longer at night. By three or four months, your baby will fall into deep sleep first through a few minutes at a time and will sleep for longer stretches. By 6 months, many babies are able to sleep up to a 6 hour stretch. But don’t be surprised if your baby still sometimes wakes at night.
Babies will wake up more often when they’re sick, uncomfortable, or they have a change in routine. It is tough to up with your baby at night, but it’s important that your baby is able to wake very quickly if she really needs you.
It does get easier. Your baby will sleep longer if she gets older.
[Silence]
[Music]
[Text on screen: Getting to know your baby]
[Text on screen: Cues | Chat with Dr. Jane]
Voiceover:
Without words, your baby will use her body and noises as cues to let you know when she wants to eat, learn, play, or rest. Watching for your baby’s cues will help you know what your baby needs.
Mother 3:
How can I tell what my baby really wants?
Dr. Jane:
You know what’s amazing about babies, from the moment they’re born, they’re able to communicate with you. And even just right in the hospital, they’re able to give signals with their bodies and the way they make noise and how they’re breathing to you cause they can’t use words, obviously. Right now he’s telling you -
[Baby starts making noises]
Dr. Jane:
- that he wants something to be a little bit different. Whatever’s going now, he doesn’t really like it. And he tells you that by turning away or scrunching his face or looking tense and even you getting a little fussy. And when he wants to play with you or he wants to learn from you, he’s gonna be more relaxed and his eyes are gonna be open and looking at you, those are signals that that’s what he wants. He wants you to play and socialise with him, which is important for him.
So what happens is when a baby is trying to tell you: “I need something to be different, Mom.” But then Mum is not able to right away make the change or whatever the baby needs, then sometimes, he’ll start to get fussy. So knowing those cues, the “whens” when they really need something to be different or they want to connect or socialise with you, knowing those cues can make crying a lot less because you’ll be able to respond before they start to cry.
Mother 3:
So I heard there’s a special cry when the baby’s hungry. Is that true?
Dr. Jane:
You know I’ve heard that too. I think it’s easier just to look at the baby because when the baby is hungry or fussy, that means the baby probably had given hunger cues before the baby got fussy. And know those hunger cues, when they bring their hands towards their mouth, when they’re rooting, and they’re opening and closing their mouths. And some of the tiny ones will actually make sucking noises. And when you hear a baby that gets a little fussy and is doing all that, you think you have a hungry baby.
Preferably, you look for those cues before the baby starts to cry. But there’s a big difference between a baby who’s crying and fussy and doing this (demonstrates rooting action) and a baby crying and fussy and doing this (demonstrates a baby getting stiff). That baby probably isn’t hungry. That stiff baby who’s not trying to put their hands near their mouth, maybe overstimulated or upset by something in the environment.
Mother 2:
Sometimes, when he is already eating, he’ll put his little fists in his mouth, which I thought was a signal that he was hungry. It’s a little confusing.
Dr. Jane:
He’s so young that it’s really hard for him to use his body on purpose. So he can’t move his hands or move his legs. They’re just sort of, they move reflectively. So what’s happening is your baby’s telling you, “I’m hungry, Mum” by showing you those hunger cues. But they’re just taking a little bit longer, as he starts to feed, for him to feel relaxed enough to bring those hands away. So it’s really common for a breastfeeding Mum to kinda have to get used to taking the hand a little bit away from the breast when the baby first latches.
Mother 4:
I heard that if you hold a baby too much, he’ll get spoiled and get used to it. Is that true?
Dr. Jane
I think a lot of people think that. But actually when your baby is giving you cues like right now.
[Baby makes loud noises]
Dr. Jane:
When the baby is giving you cues that they need you, either because they want to play with you or because they need something to be different, then it’s really important to respond to them right away.
So rather than spoiling them, actually, when you respond to cues, they get better and better and better at giving the same cue, and then you’re gonna be confident that you know what to do with that same cue. So when you respond to your baby, you actually develop your own little language together. And it makes it easier for both of you.
Voiceover:
At first, it may be hard for you to understand your baby’s cues. Newborns don’t have very much control over their bodies. And their cues can be confusing. Fortunately, babies and parents quickly get better at understanding each other.
At first, your baby will stare at your face and follow your voice for a short time. When he’s older, he will watch your lips as you speak to him. When you smile, he will try to smile back. These cues mean that he wants to be near you. When you talk or play with him, he’ll be working hard to learn as much as he can. Don’t be surprised if all this learning makes him tired.
When your baby is hungry, she will use lots of cues. She will bring her hands towards her mouth, move her head from side to side, open and close her mouth, and try to latch.
When he’s done, he’ll turn away or use his hands to let you know he’s had enough.
When babies get tired, overstimulated, or uncomfortable, they will tell you they want something to be different by turning away, pushing away, or arching away. These cues can be confusing because the baby can’t tell you what needs to be different.
You’ll need to look around and figure out what might be bothering your baby. Does she have a wet diaper? Is shee sleepy? Are the lights too bright? Or are there any loud noises?
Sometimes, babies need time away from excited brothers and sisters or too many new faces.
When you see the cues that your baby needs something to be different, you can keep your baby from getting fussy by responding quickly and fixing the problem.
There’s no worry if you don’t always know what to do. Your baby will tell you when you get it right. With practice, you’ll both get better at communicating with each other.
[Silence]
[Music]
[Text on screen: Getting to know your baby]
[Text on screen: Crying | Chat with Dr. Jane]
Voiceover:
Crying is one way your baby communicates with you. Understanding more about why babies cry and what you can do to help your baby will make things easier for both of you.
Mother 4:
Why is it stressful to hear a baby cry?
Dr. Jane:
Actually, it’s really important that it’s stressful to hear a baby cry. Though, that’s really hard to tell a parent. But if you think about it, if a baby really needed you, and your baby went, “Haa! (joyful tone)” I mean, would you really care? It’s really important that the noise that your baby makes when they really need you is loud because you may be very tired. It doesn’t sound very good and it kinda stresses you out and it makes you want to take action to help your baby.
So even though listening to a crying baby is very stressful, it’s actually very beneficial that your child has that talent to make that loud noise that’s unpleasant but helps you know when she really needs you.
Mother 5:
Why do babies cry so much?
Dr. Jane:
Well, when they get to realise that they’re new to the world, so everything is new, and that’s the lights, and the sounds, and smells, and also the stuff that’s going on in their own bodies are new to them. So sometimes, babies don’t like what’s going on around them, maybe, what’s going on inside them, too. So that’s why they tend to cry a lot.
What happens is they do try to tell you-
[Baby starts crying]
Dr. Jane:
Like she’s right now, trying to tell us that she’s just not too happy about something. And so-
[Another baby starts crying]
Dr. Jane:
And another one now. She’s trying to get that signal that she wants something to be different and so we want to make sure that you respond to that. And the more your respond to the signals early, the less she’ll cry.
Mother 5:
Sometimes my baby cries and cries, and I know she’s not hungry. What should I do?
Dr. Jane:
Well, what happens is that sometimes, babies get overstimulated or there’s just too much input. Or they’re just slightly uncomfortable, and so they’ll let you know by crying. One way you can calm them down when you know they’re not hungry - cause of course, if the baby is hungry, you wanna feed the baby - but if you know the baby is not hungry, you can try what you can do the same thing over and over again and that calms babies down.
The way that our minds work is when we have this same sort of boring thing happening over and over again, we calm down and get rested. And so the babies will do the same thing.
You hold your baby close and just stroke your baby’s back and say the same words over and over again like our instincts tell us to do, the baby will calm down. You just have to give it some time, because sometimes when babies are upset, it takes a while to calm them down. She’s doing a great job doing it right now.
Voiceover:
You can tell when your baby is crying because he’s hungry or when he’s crying for other reasons. Hungry babies use many cues like bringing their hands near their faces and trying to suck on things. Crying babies who are not hungry will hold their hands stiffly away from their faces and they also turn, arch, or push away from you. Remember, your baby is not really pushing you away. These cues are the only way your baby needs to know how to tell you that she needs something to be different.
Being a parent is stressful. If you ever start to feel angry or overwhelmed when your baby cries, put the baby down in a safe place for a short time and take a break. Taking some deep breaths akin to another adult can really help.
By taking a few minutes for yourself, you’ll come back better able to figure out what you need to do for your baby.
When babies get overtired or overstimulated, they often start to cry. Holding your baby close, rocking and saying the same words over and over again can help your baby to calm down. Even if it takes a while for your baby to respond, keep doing the same thing over and over. You might think that changing your baby’s position or showing your baby’s toys might help. But if your baby is already overstimulated, he’ll keep crying. Be patient. Sticking to the same action for several minutes before trying something different can be the secret to success.
You may be wondering: “how could I possibly have time for all of these?” Fortunately, as your baby gets older, she will calm down much more quickly and she will cry less and less.
[Silence]
