Children’s voices – managing behaviour
Thinking about and discussing messages from children about how they want to be treated.
Watch this video together with whānau. Although the children are older than 24 months, the messages are very clear.
Children's voices - what matters to kids? (transcript)
[Music]
Kahukura:
Kia ora, my name is Kahukura.
Katana:
My name’s Katana.
Amelia:
Amelia Rosa Premier.
Deacon:
My name is Deacon and I’m six years old, and my last name is Aniwana.
Sophia:
My name is Sophia and I’m five.
Lucy:
My name is Lucy and I am six.
Mira:
Mira…Okuru Phillip Hasi.
Xavier:
Xavier Solomon
Taylor:
My name’s Taylor and I am five.
Max:
I’m three and my name is Max.
[Text on screen: How do your parents help you when you’re upset?]
Max:
Cuddle.
Deacon:
Give me heaps of money so I can buy Wi-fi.
Katana:
Like you’ll be happy again.
Xavier:
Like hugs and kisses.
Amelia:
She blows raspberries.
Taylor:
Probably rubbing my back.
Mira:
My mum says, “He aha te raru?” and then we sit down on the couch, we talk about it.
Kahukura:
I sometimes go in their bedroom and hug with them and have a family huggle.
Sophia:
Pulls the funny faces.
[Music]
[Text on screen: How do your parents act when you misbehave?]
Max:
Get told off.
Xavier:
They just put me in the corner.
Kahukura:
They say, clean up your room.
Taylor:
I just hide.
Deacon?:
Every time I be naughty they still love me.
[Text on screen: How do your parents reward you when you are good?]
Max:
Get a gingerbread man.
Lucy:
Read me stories.
Kahukura:
Playing rugby.
Mira:
I like baking with my dad.
Xavier:
Helping doing the garden.
Deacon:
I play Minecraft. But my mum doesn’t usually like to play Minecraft.
Taylor:
I play Tee Ball. I’m a secret weapon.
[Music]
[Text on screen: How do you want your parents to treat you?]
Sophia:
Nicely
Kahukura:
Talk nice.
Mira:
They should talk to me softly.
Deacon:
Nicely and whispering too. Mmh, hm, because they keep on telling me secrets sometimes.
[Text on screen: How do your parents show that they love you?]
Taylor:
‘Cause they give me lots and lots of hugs and kisses.
Lucy:
Give me hugs.
Deacon:
They smiling at me.
Sophia:
They always say they love me.
Kahukura:
I know in my brain.
Mira:
They tell me and by giving me a lot of hugs and kisses.
Max:
Yes, I love talking.
Ask the whānau:
- What did you like about the clip?
- What are the main messages the children tell us?
Then ask, what do you think your child would say in response to the following questions? (Imagine what they would say.)
- How should your whānau talk to you?
- How can they help you behave well?
- How can they reward you?
- How can they help you when you’re upset?
- How do you know your whānau love you?
Then ask them to reflect:
- What have you learned from this exercise?
- Can you think of things you can do to help your child?
- Are there other things you would like to know about?
