Understanding the reasons we need rules, and sharing examples.

Learning goals

  • Understand the role of rules in managing whānau behaviour.
  • Build the confidence and ability to parent positively.

Discuss the reasons for rules

You could start the workshop by saying that tamariki need rules and boundaries, and our homes need rules and boundaries. Ask the group:

  • Why do you think this is?

At home you might call them ‘rules’, or something different. You might call them ‘guiding lights we live by in our whānau’. It doesn’t matter what you call them, what matters is that they’re put into practice with respect, rather than an ‘iron fist’.

Ask the group to look at an example from sport:

  • Think about a game you enjoy playing.
  • What rules are there for that activity?
  • Why do we need those rules?

Offer some ideas if needed. For example, sports rules:

  • keep people safe
  • make sure everyone knows what to do
  • keep things fair
  • make it a game that everyone knows how to play and can enjoy.

What would happen if we didn’t have rules in that game?

Share the rules whānau have

Read the article Limits and boundaries. They’re one of ‘Ngā tohu whānau’, or the ‘6 things kids need’.

Ask the group:

  • What rules do you have in your whānau?
  • Why do you have those particular rules?
  • Are they there for the same reason as there are rules for a sports game?
  • How will you teach your kids about them?

Ask the group to think about the Tākai saying, ‘Have as few rules as possible and stick to them.’ Then ask them to talk in pairs about:

  • Do you have too many rules, the right number, or not enough?

Share ideas with the whole group.

Resources

Tākai resources

Whakatipu booklets(external link) – ‘Ngā tohu whānau’ sections

Our whānau tikanga – six principles poster [PDF, 7 MB]

Order free printed resources(external link)

Related articles

Limits and boundaries

Understanding simple rules

Six principles of effective discipline