Building brains through serve and return

“Serve and return” is a name for the back-and-forth, focused interaction between pēpi and adults. Taking the time to engage with pēpi in everyday activities will help to develop strong bonds and build brains that are ready to explore and learn.

We intuitively know that connecting with tamariki through play, cuddles, waiata , and affection is important. The back-and-forth nature of these interactions is called serve and return. While the concept is grounded in the latest research, serve and return affirms tīpuna Māori practices of recognising the mana of tamariki through responding and nurturing.

The back-and-forth, loving interactions we have with young tamariki build the foundation for later brain development, learning, and emotional, mental and physical health. This back and forth shows tamariki that they’re important and we value what they think and how they feel. Pēpi in particular benefit because their brains are developing so rapidly.

Serve and return interactions may be particularly important when tamariki have experienced stress or adversity.

Ways to incorporate serve and return

Serve and return can be as simple as singing a waiata together, sharing a laugh, or a child pointing to a bird out the window and the adult responding, “it’s a bird flying through the sky”. The activity itself doesn’t really matter – what matters most is the connection, the common interest, and the ‘rally space’ of mutual back and forth.

A “serve” can be anything that a child shows an interest in and then wants to share, such as an object, a feeling, an action, or a person. These happen throughout the day and can be found in small moments, like getting them dressed, waiting in line in the supermarket, reading a book, hanging out the washing, or going for a walk.

Some activities that really get connection going are playing peek-a-boo, singing waiata together, and walking in nature and talking about what you see.

Here are some tips to try when connecting with tamariki:

1. Watch and listen

Watch for what pēpi is interested in (the “serve”). They may point or make noises or facial expressions. Even before pēpi can say words they still communicate by babbling or through eye contact.

Looking for the “serve” and responding with interest can be a great way to learn about a child’s interests and encourage them to be curious.

2. Show interest

This can be as simple as making a sound, taking a closer look with pēpi, using a facial expression, or saying something like “That’s right!” or “Look at that!” This shows pēpi that their thoughts and feelings have been heard and understood. Talking with pēpi helps nourish their developing brain.

3. Name it

Use the name of the thing, person, action, or feeling to help build the language connection. This helps pēpi understand the world around them. They will learn best when you use the language you know best.

For example, you can name things they point at while reading a pukapuka .

4. Take turns talking

Keep it going, allowing time for pēpi to respond. Waiting is important because it helps them develop their own ideas and independence. As you chat back and forth, notice how they watch and listen to you.

5. Let them set the pace

Whenever possible, try and let pēpi take the lead and end the interaction when they’re ready to move on. This gives them a chance to explore their world at their own pace.

Serve and return is something whānau can do every day to build healthy pēpi that are ready to play, explore, and learn. It's never too early to give it a try, even from the day pēpi is born!

Handout for whānau

Building baby’s brain

This handout walks whānau through the steps of engaging pēpi in serve and return. Encourage them to keep it somewhere handy – like on the fridge – where they can refer to it often.

pdf 4.6 MB

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Encouraging conversations

Te Whāriki Online – Ministry of Education

The serve and return technique encourages conversations and oral language development for children in early learning services.

Helpful resources for whānau

Serve and return<
Serve and return (transcript)

[Music]

[Graphic: Moana Research logo]

[Text on screen: Adapted with permission from the Centre on the Developing Child at Harvard University in collaboration with Brainwave Trust Aotearoa.]

[Graphic: Centre on the Developing Child, Harvard University logo. Brainwave Trust logo]

Voiceover:

Did you know that you can help build a child's brain? Everyday communicating with your child helps a child's growing brain.

Parent:

Good girl.

Voiceover:

You do this daily even before babies talk. This is called serve and return. Back and forth, like a game of ping pong or volleyball.

[Text on screen: Serve and Return]

A child serves by showing an interest in something and the adult answers in a supportive way.

Grandparent:

What’s this? Grapes.

Voiceover:

Finding moments throughout the day to do it is easy and fun, and you'll be building strong brains. You're probably doing a lot of this already without realizing.

There are five steps to serve and return.

[Text on screen: 5 steps for brain-building. Serve and return. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5]

The first one is to share your child's interest.

[Text on screen: 1, Share the focus]

When a child is interested you can see it. Watch this child look at something in a book. Right there. Pointing shows interest. The key is paying attention to what the child is looking at. By paying attention and seeing what your child is interested in, you can learn and teach your child and feel closer to them.

Step two, support and encourage.

[Text on screen: 2, Support and encourage]

You can respond to a child serve by saying nice and helpful words.

Parent:

You did it. Yay!

Voiceover:

Even a kind smile can encourage a child. You can also pick up the object the child points to and bring it closer. Helping and playing with the child lets them know you understand them.

Step 3, name it.

[Text on screen: 3, Name it!]

Parent:

Aeroplane.

Voiceover:

When you return a child’s serve and talk about what they see, feel, and do, you help make important language connections in their brain. This can be in your native language tongue. This brain-building happens even before a child can talk or understand your words. You can name anything. A person, a thing, an action, a feeling. When you name what a child is interested in, you help your child understand what is around them.

Grandparent:

One black one, and two red ones.

Voiceover:

They can learn to understand the world and what to expect. Naming also gives a child words to use later, and shows that words are important to you.

Grandparent

Z.

Voiceover:

Step 4, take turns back and forth.

[Text on screen: 4, Take turns back and forth]

Taking turns helps children learn to listen, share, and how to get along with others.

Waiting is important. When you return a serve, give the child a chance to answer.

By waiting you give the child time to think of ideas and build confidence in themselves and their skills.

Step 5, practice endings and beginnings.

[Text on screen: 5, Practise endings and beginnings]

Children show when they're done or ready to move on to a new activity.

Sharing the focus is important in this step. When you can find these moments for a child to take the lead, you support your child in learning about their world, and make more serve and returns.

Serve and return is important for a child's developing brain, and the best news is that you can do it anytime, anywhere, without any need for toys or technology.

Look for small chances throughout the day like while you are cooking or shopping.

Try to remember these five steps.

[Text on screen: 5 steps for brain-building. Serve and return. 1, Share the focus]

Notice the serve and share the child's focus of attention.

[Text on screen: 2, Support and encourage]

Return the serve by supporting and encouraging.

[Text on screen: 3, Name it!, 4, Take turns back and forth, 5, Practise endings and beginnings]

Name it, take turns going back and forth, and practice endings and beginnings.

Back and forth exchanges make everyday moments fun. If it is not already, it soon will become normal as you practise.

Remember, your baby is communicating with you right from birth. By noticing and responding as often as you can, you are really helping their development.

[Music]

[Graphic: Moana Research logo]

[Text on screen: www.moanaresearch.co.nz]

Close transcript
Serve and return
This video outlines the serve and return process that helps to lay a strong foundation for the brain development of your tamariki.

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Growing great brains<

Growing great brains (transcript)

Jason Tiatia, Brainwave Trust Kaiako
You are probably already doing loads of things our tamariki need to grow a great brain and the rest is actually pretty simple.
Here’s what you need to know.
The brain development of your tamaiti is influenced by their experiences.
[Music]
Beginning just days after conception brain development before birth forms a critical foundation for later learning.
While in utero babies grow majority of their neurons or nerve cells they will ever have.
[Music]
Once born, the brains of our pēpi grow and change rapidly.
There’s a lot to take in.
Looking around, hearing sounds, feeling things on their skin, tasting things moving their bodies.
Most of the growth and development of the brain after birth is forming crucial connections between nerve cells or neurons.
These links between neurons are called synapses.
Synapses allow the brain cells to connect and communicate with each other and form rapidly.
You can help tamariki grow great brains and connect up their synapses through gentle touching, talking being with them and protecting them from overwhelming or frightening events.
[Music]
Tamariki need to do things over and over again in order to develop strengthen and preserve their neural network of connections.
Tamariki seem to know this whether it’s repeatedly dropping objects on the floor or asking for the same bedtime story for many nights in a row.
Think how practise makes us better at riding a bike or learning learning a language, tamariki are practising everything.
Play is one major way of doing this. When you support your tamaiti to play with you, their siblings or cousins, or own their own your tamaiti is growing a great brain.
All children will have both negative and positive experiences at different times but it’s the experiences they have over and over again that most influence which connections are pruned or kept.
If the experience are mostly positive and if they’re well supported during their negative experiences this might help them to trust the world and lessen their stress.
[Music]
So ultimately we are all providing a safe, consistent nurturing care which is most of what our tamariki need to grow great brains.
[Music]

Close transcript

Growing great brains
Jason Tiatia from the Brainwave Trust shares some tips on helping pēpi grow great brains.

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Baby wall frieze

Use this wall frieze in te reo Māori and English to decorate baby's bedroom, or any space. It has easy ideas on how we can all help pēpi grow an awesome brain.
pdf 2.2 MB
Poster Pregnancy to 5 years

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Feeding your baby's brain

Brainwave Trust Aotearoa

Using lots of language from the time pēpi is born will help to grow their brain. Here are some tips on ways to talk more with pēpi.

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Ways to incorporate serve and return

1. Watch and listen

2. Show interest

3. Name it

4. Take turns talking

5. Let them set the pace

Handout for whānau

Building baby’s brain

Learn more

Encouraging conversations

Helpful resources for whānau

Serve and return<

Growing great brains<

Baby wall frieze

Feeding your baby's brain

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