Strategies to support the growing independence of tamariki while avoiding raruraru over making choices.

Tamariki asserting themselves

Have a look at the cartoon on pages 24–25 of the Whakatipu booklet Te Kōhuri 1 with parents. Ask them:

  • What do you notice in the picture?
  • What do you think is going to happen next?

On page 20 of the booklet we can see tamariki want to make their own choices at this stage, and this can sometimes end in tears. Ask:

  • What can adults do to avoid raruraru over making choices?
  • What have you tried?
  • What works best?

Go back to the cartoon on pages 24–25 of the booklet. What strategies could parents use in this specific situation?


  • Leave out a choice of two outfits rather than a wider range of options for their tamaiti?
  • Say something like: “That pōtae looks warm, but your slippers might get wet outside?”
  • Ignore what they are wearing completely – there is a chance those items of clothing will be taken off soon anyway.

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