The 'Basket of tools' was created to support Pacific families to put protective factors in place that help their children build resilience.

Speak to me gently

When young children were asked how they liked to be treated, most replied that they wanted their parents to 'speak to me gently'.

The 'Basket of tools' – a set of cards to help get conversations started – was created for parents to hear this message. On one side of the card there's a Samoan translation of 'speak to me gently', and on the other side are some quotes collected from a group of Pacific parents discussing parenting.

The quotes cover a range of cultures and are a collection of people's reflections about their own childhoods, the way they were parented, and other related and important family matters.

These cards can be used with groups of Pacific families or by anyone in the community to explore and enhance their understanding of Pacific families.

Using the cards

The main goal is to start conversations and have group members reflect on parenting behaviour. Participants will usually feel safer sharing in small groups.

You might:

  • Read out a quote and ask group members to talk about what it means to them.
  • Distribute the cards to small groups and invite them to discuss the messages.
  • Ask the group members to take turns at reading out the statements.
  • Participants can comment on the statements and add their comments on sticky notes to display for everyone to see.

Resilience in children is built from a combination of protective factors, including a child's personal characteristics, an early close relationship, and supportive communities.

As you read the statements, ask the group what protective factors they think are being supported in the quotes.

It's never too late to put protective factors in place that build resilience.